Sar’h delivered this message and many more to me one year ago. While these have gone into Book Two of the Becoming Sar’h book series, yet to be published, I have been hesitant to share Sar’h’s stories of the incarnation in which she received her name.
You see Sar’h has never wavered in her story, insisting she was incarnated as a daughter of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene. Until this point, I have attempted to share Sar’h’s stories without revealing that fact because, well, it sounds insane and downright pompous. For a whole year after she told me this, I argued with her on every single fact, and I have found her story to be as real and true as the life I am living now. I have seen, felt, sensed, and experienced every single minute of it since I became aware of it in 2014.
In January 2017, I made the decision to never hide any parts of myself again. It began with the courageous, or seemingly insane idea, to share what I went through during my awakening process in Becoming Sar’h: Book One. Yet, I have realized my coming out of the closet also means allowing Sar’h to share her story in full, without letting my human panic of being found out get in the way. As soon as I opened to that, Master El Morya (also known as Mortimer the Turtle in Book One) said he would like to share his stories of embodied enlightenment. Thus, the next series of articles will be a platform for them to share.
Additionally, for background important for Sar’h’s message, she says she was born after the crucifixion in underground Alexandria, Egypt, which is why she calls herself Sar’h of Alexandria. As many of you may know, after Yeshua was hung on the cross, Mary Magdalene and other Yeshua followers were forced to flee Alexandria, Egypt by boat to head to safety in Southern France. As Sar’h tells the story, the sails of the boat were shredded in order to stop them from making it to France. There’s way more to the story, but they do make it to shore, landing in Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer, France. The full story will be in Book Two. I only add it here because it is referenced in Sar’h’s message.
Thanks for taking a chance on us. I am so grateful to live in a world where I can speak freely. I’ve held more than two thousand lives on this planet, and this is truly the first one where it has been physically safe to do so. Thank you. - Lauren
EMBRACING THE DARK, DROPPING YOUR LAST SWORD
Here I am, Sar’h of Alexandria. Here you are in this life as this aspect, knowing that there is something so much deeper this life has to offer – more than any other life. Knowing somewhere inside of you that you are the master that traveled through all those lifetimes, all those experiences to remember who you are once more, to remember who you are the soul level.
Here we are again in human form at the time and place we agreed to meet approximately 2,000 years ago. Those of you who are here today with us, on Earth in human form, were the ones listening to the call, truly living the promise we made to carry on the message – to experience and embody it – the kingdom is within.
You know me as Sar’h. You know me as the daughter of Yeshua and a woman you call Mary Magdalene. Some of you were on that boat with me - the one that traveled across the Mediterranean with no sail, with no wind. Yet, if you recall, through the flow of pure consciousness, we arrived at Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer, pinching at our skin as we climbed out of the boat to make sure that yes, in fact, we were still alive. The world around us seemed completely mad. It seemed completely insane, and more than anything it was an angry, punishing world.
Everyone who is here, reading this, embodied in human form, you have all done as you have promised. You have shown the world that the kingdom is within. The ones who had ears heard. The ones who had eyes saw. You showed them not always with words, not always with lessons, but through your actions and your experiences here on Earth. You showed them what it was to have the experience of the teacher and the student, the parent and the child, through your resistance and participation in all that human life has to offer. You were the Roman. You were the disciple. You were the warrior and the wounded.
You hold onto these experiences deep within the cells of your being. You hold on to them as if you can do something wrong. You hold onto the teachings and the promise you made millinia ago to continue to share the word. You hold onto these concepts of right and wrong. But like my father said, “There is no sin. It is you who makes sin exist.”
Even those who are shaking their heads in disagreement, you too hold so tightly onto concepts of right, wrong, duty, and contracts. It is something so buried deep inside you, you have become numb to its existence. You do not feel it anymore. And we all know well enough the only thing that can control us is the unseen – that of which we are not aware.
Let me tell you this right now before we begin. You have fulfilled your duties. You have fulfilled your contracts. You are here again in physical form – this last life that is all for you – for your own experience of crossing the threshold into your own enlightenment. Your own self-actualization. Some of you have already done this, and yet you have returned to do it again. To share the experience in this new era in which we are no longer hunted down like animals and slaughtered for our beliefs.
Let us all take a big sigh of relief right now. No one here is in danger of crucifixion, of being burned at the stake, of having our children ripped from our hands. We are safe. You are safe. I am safe.
My mere existence is not a threat so much anymore that my life must remain a secret. People are too busy in their technocratic lives to look up from their smart phones to persecute us. They are too distracted grabbing at false power. That is their experience, not ours.
Something my mother taught me so clearly – and much out of necessity at the time – was that you have to embrace the dark to see the light. That is why you often see her (Mary Magdalene) depicted with skull sitting on top of a book. That is the knowledge you must embody to make this transition your soul calls for each moment of each day.
You know what I’m talking about - that gentle, yet ever present gnawing in your gut that says there is more. This physical world is not it. Once you begin to feel it – for some of you it began many lifetimes ago – you went to search externally for God, then the universe. You combed through spirit and spiritual practices as if your life depended on it. Yet, just as in religion, the answer was not there in the spirituality either. And you knew enough then – just as you do now – that the answers are inside. They are in the darkness. They cannot be found in the light, the concepts of goodness, and what’s right. Instead, they lie hidden in the edges of death, yet death is nothing but the illusion created by the vastly unfamiliar.
For some of you, that is all that’s in your present awareness: the answers are inside, the kingdom is within. “But where,” you ask. The answer is in death. Of letting go of all that surrounds you. Your family. Your possessions. Your aspects or identities here on Earth. You human desires for success and the oh-so-popular idea of security. The answers are in the letting go and distilling the experiences in the depths of your soul, the part of you that can never be taken away, the only place where true stability and security exists.
My mother knew this because everything was taken away from her in the physical world. Her home. Her family. Her friends. Her family’s fortunes. Her human identity as she hid in the caves of southern France after the crucifixion, fearing for the life of her children, her family, her friends.
And in the death of who she thought she was - in her darkest hours - she found the truth of her existence in her soul. She reconciled with the impermanence of human life, the impermanence of everything around her. She let go of the concepts of good and bad and right and wrong. And what she was left with – the I EXIST, the I AM, the soul.
The good news is that right here, right now, most of us have not had to watch our families taken away or slaughtered. We do not have to give up our children or fear being strung from a cross because we stepped out of line. We do not have to give up our wealth or comfortable way of living. We do not have to bare children to carry on our name. Right here, right now, we can simply energetically sever the tie to these concepts without actually having to give them up.
Soul alignment – self-actualization – enlightenment – does not occur in the light. My mother is depicted in many statues and paintings holding the skull over the book to tell us we have to step off the edge into the dark – to remind us the growth, the transformation only occurs in the darkest depths of who we are. Notice she is not carrying around a book with hearts, unicorns, and rainbows on it. It is a skull. In every church depicting her – it is skull.
Right here, right now, we are going to remember that we can move as easily through the dark as we can through the light. We can dance in the fabric of consciousness, which contains all, without fear, without limitations. We can use the fabric of consciousness to work for us. We can shape the energy that makes up the fabric into whatever we want.
All that is born, all that is created, all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other. All that is composed shall be decomposed; everything returns to its roots; matter returns to the origins of matter. —Gospel of Mary Magdalene
For those of you familiar with the Order of the Magdalenes, you know it is simply a term for the brothers and sisters who have known the way, who have known the impermanence of everything on Earth, and understood the kingdom lives within – the soul. The term Magdalene has been bent and twisted to mean all sorts of things about the people it describes. Right here, right now we are taking it back to its true meaning. We are going to go back to the core of whom we truly are, and I, Sar’h, would like to invite you on an energetic journey inward. Will you join me?
Thank you all so much for having the courage to be here, to read these words from your inner kingdom rather than from your head. I know some of you are terrified of what will happen next if you truly let down your human guard, if you pull down the fence you have built around your soul in the name of self-preservation. Sure, you say you have torn down the fence, but it's not true. You have left a little bit up, created a dam, just in case.
“What it will feel like to let go, really let go,” you wonder. I tell you that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is experiencing the fear and moving beyond it through action. Each and every one of you has the brave hearts of both the lamb and the lion. Simply showing up here on Earth in human form is a courageous act, in and of itself, after all the pain and suffering we have all experienced here on Earth. I honor you for your courage. I applaud your bravery.
Before we get started, I want to thank each and every one of you for what you have done for my family, keeping the integrity of my mother, the one you call Mary Magdalene, and my father, Yeshua, alive. I want you to see, feel, and know my deep and sincere gratitude, overwhelming appreciation for the lifetimes of suffering and secrecy you endured.
Now you are released from the duty. It is no longer your job or my job to carry forth those secrets at any cost. Here I am with delivering the message in broad daylight, broadcast on the Internet no less. There is no Roman standing outside my door to nail me to a post for speaking of the unseen, for telling men they are sovereign beings, obligated to no government or God.
It’s now your time to let go of that duty, that obligation. The message survived. That mission is complete. It is time to simply allow the natural process of enlightenment to occur.
Whew! Now that we have lifted that burden, let’s talk about another one you have been carrying around. Who here has tried to save something in your life? Save the whales? Mother Earth? Supported a political party? Raise your hands.
Lauren here who shares this beautiful body with me spent years as an activist. She worked for an organization that’s motto was fighting cancer. Fighting, yes I said fighting. She carried no literal sword or shield but she was a crusader.
A crusader is a person who campaigns vigorously for political, social, or religious change; a campaigner of any sort. Instead of armor, Lauren got dressed everyday in her power suit, stalking lawmakers to convince them or threaten them into funding cancer research and prevention programs. And she was good at it. Very, very good at it. In fact, in her time in the Texas capitol, she and her cancer posse managed to bully lawmakers into more than $1 billion dollars in cancer investments.
Lauren was so proud of this accomplishment. So proud it became part of her identity. That is until she laid watching her father in a coma. It is then by her dad’s bedside she remembered that medicine, the pharmaceuticals, were not what could save her dad. She realized sickness, health, death, and life were decision of the soul. One would not get better unless it was the will of the soul and the soul alone.
All of that effort she had placed raising that money that generally went into the hand of the cancer pharmaceutical companies had been nothing more than experience to show her the illusion.
Lauren would walk back into that job each day up until three months after her father died – at his own soul’s accord, I may add – until her soul screamed, no more. This was not the way. She laid down her sword. She laid down her shied. And for the first time in her adult life, she listened to her soul who whispered unwavering, “There is nothing to fight anymore. Fight only brings more fight. A fighting mentality only makes the cancer stronger.“
And you know and I know that cancer is nothing more than a human experience that teaches us, reminds us how to really live – should we give it the opportunity. So what I, Sar’h, am asking you to do is to lay down your sword like Lauren did. There is nothing left to save.
Do me a favor, please. Everyone close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Feel into where your soul resides in the body. If it is not inside the body, command it back in. It is safe. You are safe. Continue to breath deeply. Connecting your soul experience with your human experience.
Now see, feel, and know when you played the role of the saver. Not just in this life, but in all lives. Let the movie to play out in your mind’s eye. No thinking. No editing. Allow all the lifetimes in which you were a crusader to flow before you. Continue to breathe.
For those of you who are saying right now, I cannot see anything. I ask you to expand your definition of sight. Move beyond the physical definition into that of the sensual one.
Sense every single life – this one included – in which you picked up your literal or figurative sword to fight something. Allow yourself to feel deeply into the concepts of right and wrong that you held onto so deeply – those concepts of good and bad and light and dark that still exist in your DNA. Allow it all in. There’s nothing to fear. There is no judgment of these lives. Only radical observation mode.
Now as the lives, these crusades appear before you in the absence of linear time and space, see, feel, and know the role you were playing.
See, feel, and know the role you played in your campaign against evil. It could be very old. A long passed life, but it's still out there fighting evil. Allow it to play out. Allow your human to scream out about what is fair and not fair.
Now hit the pause button on one of your experiences. Maybe it was from this life. Maybe it was from another. Hit the pause button mid-battle. Maybe you were campaigning for peace. Maybe you were saving a child, an animal. Or back fighting the Romans, again. Maybe it is an aspect of you, a demon from within. Whatever it is hit pause mid-fight.
Take a deep breathe. Now in this situation, in this fight, allow your physical presence to become larger. Allow your body to expand. To grow taller. Grow so tall that your head reaches the sky.
Breathe. Observe how you feel different as you look down at yourself in this fight. See, feel, and know how you were playing a role. See, feel, and know how this was simply an experience. An experience that has served you well in the past, yet no longer serves you anymore. Become aware of the parts of you that were still out there fighting, outside of your awareness. Re-write the story your way. Continue to breathe.
See, feel, and know deeply that this need to fight, the fight itself was only an experience. An experience you took internal when you stopped the external battles. Now go inside the body. See, feel, and know where the fight continues inside of you. Notice without judgment where that fight lives inside of you. Breathe.
Now you are going to be given an image – a gift from the soul – allow the image to arise from the soul that will show you how to transmute the density of the fight inside of you.
Whatever this image is – it may be a color, it may show you to release something, to integrate something, and it may show you how to heal something, to fill in a hole or create one. Whatever it is – no thinking, no editing – allow this to take place. Allow the vision from the soul, the soul action, to take place.
See, feel, and know how this action is occurring right now. Not later. Not tonight while you’re lying in bed. Right now. Allow the transformation, the transmutation, the healing to occur until you know internally that it is complete. See, feel, and know that you have no more fight left, that you are complete in this now moment.
Continue to breathe as this occurs. Allow your human to sit as the witness as your soul completes this.
Wow! So many swords are being dropped I can hear the dings as they hit the ground. What a group of crusaders we have been. Drop your last sword. Peel off that heavy armor. Feel the weightlessness of the body. Feel the lightness of the heart. Feel the ineffable love the soul has for you the human. The gratitude it feels for you the human who went through all those experiences so you could get to this point right here, right now.
Allow any final actions to occur as you continue to breathe. Feel your head, heart, and soul aligned right now. See, feel, and know how natural it feels to be in this alignment.
Now I’m going to invite you to join me, Sar’h, in a promise. The decision is yours to make if you wish. Right here, right now, if you choose, let’s all vow to never pick up that sword again - it is a choice, a sovereign commitment to yourself to never put on that armor again. There is no battle to fight. The war is won. The victory is in knowing who we are, who we truly are at the soul level. That we exist. In connecting with the soul – that which never dies, and contains the knowledge of everything.
Your soul has taken all the wisdom gained from every fight with so-called evil, every fight with so-called dark energies you have experienced and distilled it into pure crystalline knowledge. All that energy directed at fight has returned to its source, turned back into its natural state, and is there for you to claim at anytime.
The masters that you are have turned this fight energy – this energy you categorized as light and dark energy – back into crystalline energy, in which the concepts of light and dark never existed.
This crystalline energy is now there for your use, at your will, at anytime to create the life you desire. It is available to you at any time and replinishes in abundance, at your will.
You see clearly now – that when you are in the duality of fight, in the concepts of light and dark, you were hindering your creations.
In transmuting the density of fight energy into crystalline energy, we have freed up our creative potentials and possibilities. In dropping our swords, we have picked up our wands, instead, to command the crystalline energies in creation of our realities - in all realms.
In the next message, I will show you how to work with the crystalline energies to create. We will mold and shape it like clay. But for now, let us sit in completion of our last battle.
Go ahead and brush your shoulders off. Stand on the victory mound. Stand tall. There are no victorious slouchers. Declare victory in knowing your last battle has been fought. That there were no winners or losers except in realizing that fight is an illusion. The idea that evil existed was an illusion. And in meeting death in your enlightenment, you will find, that too, is an illusion.
Take a deep breath. Slowly start to come back into the physical body. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Slowly open your eyes. Feel your body in complete alignment with the soul.
All that is born, all that is created, all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other. All that is composed shall be decomposed; everything returns to its roots; matter returns to the origins of matter. —Gospel of Mary Magdalene
Sar’h asks you to please leave her notes, questions, and feedback in the comment sections below. Thank you.
Many folks in the new age community would have you believe in a concept called a twin flame relationship. If you haven’t heard of the twin flame or twin soul concept, it is understood as another human being serving as the other half of your soul. As the myth goes, each of us has only one twin flame, which after being split, the two souls went their separate ways, incarnating over and over again to have a human experience before reuniting to ascend together. Sounds like the stuff of fairy tales, right?
Another source says that each side of the twin is a complete soul but their task is to become more complete in reuniting, balancing the feminine and the masculine together. How does that make any sense? You are either a complete soul or not. Complete is an absolute; there is no more or less complete. Furthermore, our inner divinity is neither masculine nor feminine. The soul does not know or operate within dualities, opposites or separations. If we are searching for our masculine or feminine counterpart, we need to go no further than looking within, toward the soul.
Nothing short of the Cinderella or Snow White tales, the myth would have you believe the twin flame relationship as the most fulfilling relationship on Earth, which comes with sacred sex, spiritual super powers and a happily ever after ending. Yet, in this twin flame community, they explain that there is usually a ‘runner’ in this reunion. They tell you the other person is scared or not ready. The worst part about this is the person who believes the other person is their twin flame will put up with all sorts of emotional and spiritual abuse from the person in question. They believe that if they are just patient enough and put up with enough bullshit the soul in question will return to them and the magic list of twin flame benefits will activate, basically fixing everything. And the cycle goes on and on with a never-ending search for this magical partner, delivering enlightenment.
Friends, I tell you this is one hell of a fairy tale, equally as alarming as the concept of prince charming coming to save Snow White from the evil witch. The first thing wrong with the twin flame myth is that you are a complete, sovereign being regardless of the relationship you happen to be in. Second, finding this so called twin flame is by no means a requirement for self-actualization/ enlightenment/ ascension, which really is nothing more than completing your cycle of lifetimes on earth through integration of all parts of yourself and in complete love for and acceptance of yourself. If you’re running around looking for your ‘other half’ in a panic, I promise ascension will not even be an option. The ‘other half’ is you!
I wasn’t introduced to this concept of a twin flame until 2013 after a spiritual awakening. I’ll admit it was one hell of a tale that mesmerized me. In 2014, I met a man and our connection blew me away. “Could this be him, my twin flame?” I thought. Cue damsel in distress mentality. Fortunately, just days after our meeting, I was scheduled to fly to Costa Rica, where I was volunteering at a sea turtle rescue and writing my book, Becoming Sar'h: Book One.
One night, I was walking down the beach in an electric storm. The sky was illuminating every 30 seconds or so with the brilliant pink and purple glow of the lightening strikes. Yeshua (some of you may know him as Jesus) and I were walking barefoot, side by side down the black sand beach. Yeshua visits me – like thousands of other people – on occasion. I said to him, “Do you think this man could be my twin flame?”
Before we had been joking and laughing with each other. Yeshua has quite the sense of humor. After the question, he became quiet and contemplative.
“Lauren, what does your soul tell you about twin flames?”
Like any good teacher, Yeshua showed me where to look not what to see (I learned from the best), so I reached deep within for the answer.
“My soul tells me I AM my own twin flame,” I said, waiting to see if this was what he was looking for.
Yeshua flashed a smile that seemed to radiate from his heart. I knew I had not disappointed him. Together we finished our walk in silence, and I basked in the honor and respect my teacher and friend had for me.
Later, I would find out through a series of dreams that this man and I had experienced many lives together, and we had a lot to remember and learn from one another in this lifetime. It was a huge gift to have found each other – one we had planned before incarnating again. Yet, if I had been in throws of the twin flame myth, and I had been chasing after the romantic notion of him completing me, I would have missed all the lessons and joy of sharing our experiences – something that has brought me great joy over the course of our almost two-year-long reunion. He remains a great friend whose opinions I trust, and I’m so glad I did not miss that.
Technically, this man would fit into the new age concept of soul mate. One source says these human souls are our ‘soul family’ reincarnated whom we have many lifetimes with and who help us evolve and dissipate karma. Further more, soul relationships have another category called karmic relationships. These are relationships with souls, we’ve shared past lives with and met up with again to heal the past and help each other evolve.
I don’t disagree with being open to these relationships helping us evolve and release karma (or you could just evolve and release the karma alone, but I digress...). My resistance to them is what happens when our human aspect – the one who has been trained to believe that there is another human out there who will fix everything – starts creating stories around the people we meet. I have seen it turn beautiful, advanced, sovereign souls (men and women) into blubbering, sad, angry humans over and over again. I know because I have been sucked into the construct before – especially in several recent past lives.
Here’s how it usually happens: we meet someone and instantly know it is significant. We – either on our own or with the help of a psychic reader – identify someone as one of these relationship categories – twin flame, soul mate or karmic relationship in our heads. We attach stories and expectations onto the person whose soul is so very familiar to us, and then we are upset when that person doesn’t want to participate at the depth we expect or vice versa.
We or they choose to either wait around for the other person to have an awakening and continually put up with their abuse, hanging onto some small amount of hope that they will realize the relationship. Or, we jump from person to person, hoping this one will finally be it. Either way it becomes an addiction, a huge distraction from the soul’s journey and especially detrimental to the self-actualization process, should that be your choice in this life.
Just recently, in my own inner exploration, my soul showed me a trap door. He/she/it said, "You can open this door to fully to experience the love I, soul, have for you, the beautiful, funny, spunky, sometimes really bitchy human aspect called Lauren. Are you ready?”
I was, and I did. I went within and opened the trap door unable to know what to predict. That’s because I had no idea what kind of love would pour out of the door. If anyone had every loved me to the point of human extreme, it was my father. It’s the most powerful form of unconditional love I have experienced in this life - and my only gauge. Well, the internal soul love for me, the human, was like that times infinity. Words are beyond limiting for the love I experience(d).
Today I spend hours basking in that self-love. I do not long for or want a steady romantic partner in my life. My time alone is too precious. I’m too busy wrapped up in being in love with me. (I know – BARF – but it’s true). Maybe one day I will experience a human relationship with someone else who has opened his own trap door to the ineffable love of soul. I won’t settle for less than that. Two sovereign beings sharing a life experience no matter how long it lasts is the only way to go for me.
Friends, your souls are calling. That longing you feel for love and recognition from lovers, friends and/or family – that’s really your soul calling you, requesting ever so patiently for you to finally start the internal relationship he/she/it has waited so very long for. Won’t you consider opening the door? I promise those external, sometimes mythical and mostly addictive relationships will not even compare to the amount of LOVE the soul has for you, the human.
This is what moving from the new age into the new energy is all about. You are sovereign. You are your own creator. You are complete.
Will it fix everything? NO.
Will you still have bad days? YES.
Will you become immediately enlightened? PROBABLY NOT.
Yet, life is a hell of a lot easier when you operate in the self-love between soul and human.
Self-love is essential in the journey to return to your true creator nature.
How can you be a master creator when you're not head over heels for yourself?
Published in March 2018, the Thirty Days of Self-Love book and interactive journal is available for FREE download at www.becomingsarh.com. That's how passionate I am about it.
Also, since writing this post so many years ago - the most read post of all time - I will update you that I have been in a beautiful relationship with another sovereign being for almost two years. We are loving sharing our realization with each other in this beautiful last life. We have no stories about our relationship. It doesn't take any work to maintain. We simply enjoy BEING together. There is no strife or struggle involved and never has been.
Since I was a little girl, the words ‘I will pray for you’ have made me recoil. Way beyond eye rolling, I could feel my apprehension to the phrase in a deep, guttural way, permeating every cell in my body with a resounding NO. When I heard myself speak these words - the few times I actually did - to meet societal expectations, I immediately felt like a fraud, and the gut sickness would get even worse.
I couldn’t comprehend in my mind why these words I had heard spoken so many times in my Catholic upbringing would bring me such disgust. Later and much to my surprise this concept would also exist in the spiritual groups - those in which I initially found refuge during my overwhelming awakening process. Eventually, the prayer circles and email chains even from my most awake friends would make it unbearable to attend gatherings or participate other ways. It was not something I could rationalize in my head only something I felt at the soul level.
Only in the last year have I been able to verbalize why I have such an adverse reaction to prayer. First, those words imply something is wrong with what you are going through. Growing up in Texas, when I heard someone say, ‘I will pray for you,’ it really meant you’re fucked up and hopefully God will fix you. The words were rooted in judgment and sometimes pity. At its worst, ‘I will pray for you’ might be what a bigoted neighbor said about the openly gay man living down the street. At its best, ‘I will pray for you’ comes from what appears to be a genuine concern. Either way, the phrase is completely unaligned with honoring and respecting the sovereignty of the soul – both our own and those around us.
A situation that seemingly calls for prayer is likely an extremely painful experience for the human aspect of yourself or others. However, when we tap into the soul – that wise master within – we can feel it is a place of no duality, and the human constructs of right, wrong, good and bad cease to exist. The soul has two desires – to express (create) and to experience those expressions (creations). Sometimes those creations are no fun for the human self AND simultaneously, they are creating radical evolution for the soul. Existing in an expanded awareness, or consciousness, can certainly help us process these events.
For example, I experienced extreme drug addiction from about the age of 17 to 20. It was an awful human experience – one that nearly killed me. I’m sure there were many people praying for me at the time, but I was not one of them. I knew deep within myself that I had created this situation, and I would be the one to decide to pull myself out of it – no external god needed. By sinking into the pits of despair and the possession of spirit and body created by addiction, I experienced what it was like to pull myself out of it through deep soul connection. Through this life event, I witnessed first-hand the divinity I held within. It changed everything about how I viewed myself and the world around me. I wouldn’t trade a moment of the suffering for the insight gained into who I AM. When I look back now, that addiction feels only like a soul experience – not one I can label with a judgment like bad or wrong.
Additionally, when my dad lay dying in a hospital room unconscious, you think I could have mustered a small prayer but I could not. I simply whispered in his ear, ‘Dad, I support you in whatever decision you make. If it is time to go, I understand. If you want to stay here, I will support that too in any way I can.’
As much as it felt like an amputation of who I was at the time to lose him, my duty as his soul family and human daughter was only to hold space for him to decide – to honor his soul’s sovereignty or autonomy with complete and total respect – and to make sure the doctors and nursing staff honored his wishes. Through witnessing my father’s ability to decide his life on his terms, I was able to witness once again my own divinity as he witnessed his.
Eventually, my father made the decision to get well enough to walk right out of that hospital when no one said he would. Later, he would leave the physical body on his own terms – not anyone else’s. The week he died he played golf and sat in his favorite chair never to wake up. It was his choice and his alone. If God or the universe was ever involved, it was only as a witness.
When we pray for people’s outcomes, we dishonor the choices their souls have made in this life. When we pray for ourselves, it takes us out of our true creator nature and implies we are not in charge of our own lives. When we pray to God and say I am lost; I am stuck in life, we create lost, stuck energy. Instead we might say: soul, bring forth the answers that are already there. If you are listening and open, your soul will provide answers – often beyond the span of your imagination.
When we pray for world peace, we put out there that there is something wrong with the world and energy follows. We fail to see the consciously expanded view of what is going on around us. When we pray for peace, we are judging. We are in duality. Could we not simply state as one of my favorites Adamus St. Germain says – All is well in all of creation? Let us allow it to be so.
In our modern world, we are not only asked to pray in person but online too. How often are we asked to type ‘Amen’ to cure someone’s cancer? I promise you neither God nor Jesus is in heaven counting likes and amens on Facebook. They are honoring the human soul who is going through a soul experience.
If someone does ask for our assistance, instead of praying for him or her, we can ask for light to be shed on a possibility or answer they may not consciously see. By saying, I illuminate the possibility for XX to get well, we are still honoring his or her sovereignty and autonomy in choosing his or her own path. We are simply assisting in bringing possibilities that already exist into plain view.
Instead of praying for someone, we also can celebrate his or her soul’s journey. That homeless man on the street – let’s celebrate that his soul has chosen a path that will give him many soul experiences, teaching him a great deal. That woman suffering an illness – let’s celebrate that her soul is truly learning what it means to live. That politician screaming from the pulpit – let’s celebrate that while their human is trying to gain power, their soul is learning about the true powerlessness that exists on this planet.
Instead of praying for someone who is dying, why can’t we celebrate the life they have left and the amazing journey they are about to embark on upon leaving the physical body? Is there no greater gift we can give to our fellow humans and loved ones than to honor and respect their soul’s ability to chose in complete autonomy what it is they wish to express and experience?
That’s why I’m an advocate of compassion over prayer. Compassion is total acceptance and allowing of what is. It is not trying to change anything about another’s situation. Compassion includes absolute honor and respect for the soul-level choices of others. It is not saying: this person must get well, never suffer, must have money and a house to be happy, etcetera. It is saying my soul honors the journey of your soul in the deepest way possible. There is no sympathy or empathy involved.
God, spirit, the universe, or whatever term you wish to use is never going to sweep into your life or the lives of others and make everything better, especially when your requests are not in line with the sovereignty of the souls involved. Instead spirit is watching you, waiting patiently for you to figure out that you are the sole creator of your journey. As spirit witnesses you express from the soul and experience those creations, it too is reminded of its true creator nature. And if you can step back far enough to get the expanded view, you too might see the indescribable beauty of the mess we call human life.
Thanks, friends, for creating a safe space for me to share my journey and for sharing yours on my Facebook page.