This week we are layering the senses of alignment and wholeness/ completeness. I also introduce TRUST vs. KNOWING. There's a few more senses thrown in as well as we start diving into the SENSE of SELF. We will cover in future videos ways of perceiving reality externally and my favorite, creation senses.

Enjoy and share if you feel inclined to or shoot me a note. More of this, less of that, or any requests. Please share you experiences in the comments if you choose. I'm posting early because Master D and Magi I will be here for the weekend. So excited.

If you would like to see the rest of the videos, join us on www.patreon.com/laurenhutton. $1/month is the only energetic exchange required.

More than anything, Enjoy BEING you in all your radical GRANDNESS!

Much love,

​Lauren & Sar'h

​Many folks in the new age community would have you believe in a concept called a twin flame relationship. If you haven’t heard of the twin flame or twin soul concept, it is understood as another human being serving as the other half of your soul. As the myth goes, each of us has only one twin flame, which after being split, the two souls went their separate ways, incarnating over and over again to have a human experience before reuniting to ascend together. Sounds like the stuff of fairy tales, right?
 
Another source says that each side of the twin is a complete soul but their task is to become more complete in reuniting, balancing the feminine and the masculine together. How does that make any sense? You are either a complete soul or not. Complete is an absolute; there is no more or less complete. Furthermore, our inner divinity is neither masculine nor feminine. The soul does not know or operate within dualities, opposites or separations. If we are searching for our masculine or feminine counterpart, we need to go no further than looking within, toward the soul.
 
Nothing short of the Cinderella or Snow White tales, the myth would have you believe the twin flame relationship as the most fulfilling relationship on Earth, which comes with sacred sex, spiritual super powers and a happily ever after ending. Yet, in this twin flame community, they explain that there is usually a ‘runner’ in this reunion. They tell you the other person is scared or not ready. The worst part about this is the person who believes the other person is their twin flame will put up with all sorts of emotional and spiritual abuse from the person in question. They believe that if they are just patient enough and put up with enough bullshit the soul in question will return to them and the magic list of twin flame benefits will activate, basically fixing everything. And the cycle goes on and on with a never-ending search for this magical partner, delivering enlightenment.
 
Friends, I tell you this is one hell of a fairy tale, equally as alarming as the concept of prince charming coming to save Snow White from the evil witch. The first thing wrong with the twin flame myth is that you are a complete, sovereign being regardless of the relationship you happen to be in. Second, finding this so called twin flame is by no means a requirement for self-actualization/ enlightenment/ ascension, which really is nothing more than completing your cycle of lifetimes on earth through integration of all parts of yourself and in complete love for and acceptance of yourself. If you’re running around looking for your ‘other half’ in a panic, I promise ascension will not even be an option. The ‘other half’ is you!
 
I wasn’t introduced to this concept of a twin flame until 2013 after a spiritual awakening. I’ll admit it was one hell of a tale that mesmerized me. In 2014, I met a man and our connection blew me away. “Could this be him, my twin flame?” I thought. Cue damsel in distress mentality. Fortunately, just days after our meeting, I was scheduled to fly to Costa Rica, where I was volunteering at a sea turtle rescue and writing my book, Becoming Sar'h: Book One.
 
One night, I was walking down the beach in an electric storm. The sky was illuminating every 30 seconds or so with the brilliant pink and purple glow of the lightening strikes. Yeshua (some of you may know him as Jesus) and I were walking barefoot, side by side down the black sand beach. Yeshua visits me – like thousands of other people – on occasion. I said to him, “Do you think this man could be my twin flame?”
 
Before we had been joking and laughing with each other. Yeshua has quite the sense of humor. After the question, he became quiet and contemplative.
 
“Lauren, what does your soul tell you about twin flames?”
 
Like any good teacher, Yeshua showed me where to look not what to see (I learned from the best), so I reached deep within for the answer.
 
“My soul tells me I AM my own twin flame,” I said, waiting to see if this was what he was looking for.
 
Yeshua flashed a smile that seemed to radiate from his heart. I knew I had not disappointed him. Together we finished our walk in silence, and I basked in the honor and respect my teacher and friend had for me.
 
Later, I would find out through a series of dreams that this man and I had experienced many lives together, and we had a lot to remember and learn from one another in this lifetime. It was a huge gift to have found each other – one we had planned before incarnating again. Yet, if I had been in throws of the twin flame myth, and I had been chasing after the romantic notion of him completing me, I would have missed all the lessons and joy of sharing our experiences – something that has brought me great joy over the course of our almost two-year-long reunion. He remains a great friend whose opinions I trust, and I’m so glad I did not miss that.
 
Technically, this man would fit into the new age concept of soul mate. One source says these human souls are our ‘soul family’ reincarnated whom we have many lifetimes with and who help us evolve and dissipate karma. Further more, soul relationships have another category called karmic relationships. These are relationships with souls, we’ve shared past lives with and met up with again to heal the past and help each other evolve.

I don’t disagree with being open to these relationships helping us evolve and release karma (or you could just evolve and release the karma alone, but I digress...). My resistance to them is what happens when our human aspect – the one who has been trained to believe that there is another human out there who will fix everything – starts creating stories around the people we meet. I have seen it turn beautiful, advanced, sovereign souls (men and women) into blubbering, sad, angry humans over and over again. I know because I have been sucked into the construct before – especially in several recent past lives.

Here’s how it usually happens: we meet someone and instantly know it is significant. We – either on our own or with the help of a psychic reader – identify someone as one of these relationship categories – twin flame, soul mate or karmic relationship in our heads. We attach stories and expectations onto the person whose soul is so very familiar to us, and then we are upset when that person doesn’t want to participate at the depth we expect or vice versa.
 
We or they choose to either wait around for the other person to have an awakening and continually put up with their abuse, hanging onto some small amount of hope that they will realize the relationship. Or, we jump from person to person, hoping this one will finally be it. Either way it becomes an addiction, a huge distraction from the soul’s journey and especially detrimental to the self-actualization process, should that be your choice in this life.
 
Just recently, in my own inner exploration, my soul showed me a trap door. He/she/it said, "You can open this door to fully to experience the love I, soul, have for you, the beautiful, funny, spunky, sometimes really bitchy human aspect called Lauren. Are you ready?”
 
I was, and I did. I went within and opened the trap door unable to know what to predict. That’s because I had no idea what kind of love would pour out of the door. If anyone had every loved me to the point of human extreme, it was my father. It’s the most powerful form of unconditional love I have experienced in this life - and my only gauge. Well, the internal soul love for me, the human, was like that times infinity. Words are beyond limiting for the love I experience(d).
 
Today I spend hours basking in that self-love. I do not long for or want a steady romantic partner in my life. My time alone is too precious. I’m too busy wrapped up in being in love with me. (I know – BARF – but it’s true). Maybe one day I will experience a human relationship with someone else who has opened his own trap door to the ineffable love of soul. I won’t settle for less than that. Two sovereign beings sharing a life experience no matter how long it lasts is the only way to go for me.
 
Friends, your souls are calling. That longing you feel for love and recognition from lovers, friends and/or family – that’s really your soul calling you, requesting ever so patiently for you to finally start the internal relationship he/she/it has waited so very long for. Won’t you consider opening the door? I promise those external, sometimes mythical and mostly addictive relationships will not even compare to the amount of LOVE the soul has for you, the human.

This is what moving from the new age into the new energy is all about. You are sovereign. You are your own creator. You are complete.

Will it fix everything? NO.
Will you still have bad days?  YES.
Will you become immediately enlightened? PROBABLY NOT.

Yet, life is a hell of a lot easier when you operate in the self-love between soul and human. 

Self-love is essential in the journey to return to your true creator nature.

How can you be a master creator when you're not head over heels for yourself?

Published in March 2018, the Thirty Days of Self-Love book and interactive journal is available for FREE download at www.becomingsarh.com. That's how passionate I am about it. 

Also, since writing this post so many years ago - the most read post of all time - I will update you that I have been in a beautiful relationship with another sovereign being for almost two years. We are loving sharing our realization with each other in this beautiful last life. We have no stories about our relationship. It doesn't take any work to maintain. We simply enjoy BEING together. There is no strife or struggle involved and never has been. 

This story is part two in a series. Please read this one before proceeding. Part one was an introduction to my awakening story, which happened to be a kundalini experience. There are many different ways and no right way to wake up to your inner divinity. Below is an account of my experience and lessons learned throughout the process. I am by no means done in my self-actualization process. My consciousness expands with each hour. It is a real joy AND a huge pain in the ass AND I wouldn't have it any other way. This is from my book to be released in 2017, Becoming Sar'h. This is completely unedited...

First, a kundalini experience or any other type of awakening is not spiritual enlightenment. It’s more like opening the first door down a long, dark hallway to self-actualization. Like me, you may feel after an awakening that you have all the answers, but save yourself the heartache. This is just the beginning and the answers to your questions will change, the truth molding as your consciousness expands. Also, an awakening does not have to be as jarring as my experience. There were many subtle signs and messages I chose to ignore in my teens and 20s. As I child I was very in tune to subtle energies. However, I discarded them in favor of fitting in and as a teen and young adult, subscribing to the American dream instead. The kundalini experience was my soul saying, ‘Okay, we tried subtle. Here’s something you can’t ignore.’ I highly recommend paying attention to that voice deep within, no matter the volume in which it speaks to you. Ignoring it will not make it go away. It will show up time and time again. You can chose to allow with ease or wait until it screams at you. Your soul will evolve regardless. It's inevitable.

After my kundalini awakening experiences, I felt periods of extreme bliss, lasting anywhere between two minutes and up to three days. I remember after the October yoga class experience, lying in my hammock for three days, saying, ‘This is it!’ I thought I had found the answer everyone had been searching for, only to come crashing back down. When you move from the extreme highs that occur after any kind of awakening, returning to so-called normal can be a bit depressing. If you share any of these symptoms with a medical doctor, be ready to be put immediately into therapy and placed on some anti-depressant aimed at knocking you back into a limited human state. These drugs will suppress any soul evolution you have going on. I think there are exceptions with these SSRIs. However, for the majority, allowing the highs and lows to occur from an observer perspective is a better, more efficient way to go. If you take the drugs, you’ll have to get off of them eventually and start the whole process over again – this time trying to detox from a chemical cocktail. No fun! In the end, consulting with your soul – your gut instinct – on medical advice is the best way to go.
 
After my experiences at the end of 2013, I was blessed with two new friends – a retired married couple that was able to tell me what happened without placing a lot of dogma on the experience. They gave me a few books to read and allowed me to process my experience without trying to write my story for me. They held the space for me to know I was not losing my mind; it only appeared that way in the context of the limits of the modern world around me. Their input helped confirm my gut instinct that I was not going totally mad. My desire to share my experience – what worked and what rabbit holes I fell down – comes from my desire to do the same for you, providing a safe space or container for others like us going through similar experiences. I want you to know you are not going crazy. What’s happening is a radical return to your true creator nature.
 
Second, a kundalini or other type of awakening opens the doors to all kinds of abilities that can seem both like a gift and curse at the same time. At the end of 2013, I began to become aware of past lives. With more than 2,000 human lives behind me, I cannot remember the details of them all. However, I do remember significant ones for the lessons I need to remember in this life. It has been extremely helpful to remember how I chose to live in this one, but remembering past lives can also create confusion and frustration. For me, this was extremely true in the area of romantic relationships. I can meet someone and know their soul so intimately from past encounters both in past lives and in between lives. However, the human aspect of the soul has changed from those lives in which we interacted. And, if the human aspect is not in tune with the soul, that person cannot comprehend on a conscious level what is actually taking place. This creates a situation in which someone’s soul is telling me one thing and their human aspect is telling me another. Sounds like a dating nightmare, right? With friends and professional acquaintances, I do well with this. In matters of the heart, I am still learning to work in this expanded level of awareness, discerning between what my souls calls for and my heart yearns for.
 
Additionally, when you learn about your past lives, especially if you have been incarnating on the planet since the beginning of man, you have likely done some pretty horrific things to others. If you happen to become aware of this, to process it, you must find a radical state of forgiveness. You must allow the forgiveness of everything you have ever done to flood into every cell of your being and the space between the cells without trying to analyze anything. The brain is worthless in this process. You must remember that you came to Earth to experience all of it – the magnificent, the good, the bad and the horrific. It was part of your soul’s journey and experience here. It’s easy to get caught up trying to right the wrong and is a huge distraction from the self-actualization or enlightenment process. If you do not remember your past lives, I would say it’s not essential to the process, and in some cases, a blessing. The mind does not need to know details to allow the radical forgiveness to take place.
 
The awakening experience, for me, also opened the doors to be able to see, feel and communicate with beings not in physical bodies. If this happens for you, please know some of these beings have a wealth of information for you. Others want to feed off your energy and will shape shift to trick you. Others are relatives from the past who have great intentions but are blinded by where they sit in the near Earth realms – just to name a few situations!
 
The key to entertaining or brushing off these beings is discernment. The best way to use discernment is with deep, clear and open communication with your soul. You can find a simple exercise here to consciously begin a soul conversation if you have not done so already. For example: Soul, is this someone I should trust or entertain a conversation with or is it someone I should bypass? What are their intentions? The soul – the wise master that lives within – should be involved in each and every interaction, leading in the discernment process. It will save you so much time, energy and possibly grief.
 
DISCERNMENT: (N) The ability to see and understand people, things or situations clearly and with an expanded level of consciousness and in alignment with the soul.
(V) An act of perceiving something, someone or a situation through the lens of expanded consciousness and in alignment with the soul.
 
The greatest gift in this increased awareness was my ability to communicate with what are called ascended masters. An ascended master is souled being who has completed their cycle of human lifetimes on Earth, accepted their sovereignty and integrated every human expression of their soul with love and acceptance. They have completed the self-actualization process, also called enlightenment or ascension. Ascended masters include the famous Jeshua (Jesus), Mary Magdalene, Buddha and Kwan Yin (AKA the female Buddha) as well as about 10,000 other souls.
 
Ascended Master El Moyra was the first to begin to communicate with me and teach me various concepts. He was with me as a child, appearing an Indian man (his last incarnation on Earth), yet I did not know he was a master because he never introduced himself this way. After my awakening experience, he returned to be a friend, teacher and guide once again. I would sit in my empty home for hours seemingly talking to the wall yet really interacting with an old friend. Other masters would visit over the years, while I was awake and asleep. A great deal of what I teach and how I counsel is derived from my interaction with these enlightened souls. The rest is taught directly from my own soul. Anyone can work with ascended masters if they are open to it. I would add that discernment also applies to any interaction, even ones with ascended masters. You know at the soul level your own truth.
 
As mentioned before, the catch with opening this door is that it also opens for all sorts of non-physical beings – at first. When I first awakened, I often experienced dead people approaching me to see if I would give their living relative a message. Even though I have the capabilities to be a medium – someone who can speak with human souls in the near Earth realms – in this life I have chosen not to perform this service for people and prefer to help them with their natural soul evolution. Mediumship feels very new age to me and not in line with the new energy. Furthermore, just because someone is dead does not mean they have solutions to your life problems. Your soul does.
 
Also, when the door opened, it cleared the path for spooks, tricksters and other lower frequency beings. It was quite an adjustment for me to figure out how to deal with these situations. After developing a process and personal clearing, I’m pleased to say no low frequency beings have the ability to come into my energy field or physical space. If you need help with this, please do not hesitate to reach out. Practice discernment again and again and again.
 
Through this awakening process, I also became extremely psychic at first. This is a sometimes dangerous and always a distracting road to go down. What true psychics see are simply future possibilities and probabilities. The future is not written in stone, and every human soul has the ability to choose their experience and their path in every single moment. They may be more inclined to one choice, but the energies surrounding people and events are constantly in motion. The energy may be flowing one direction, and then it could shift suddenly. It’s best to simply observe these future possibilities and probabilities, taking them into consideration for what they are.

For fuck's sake, please don’t give anyone a psychic reading, especially if they are processing through the mind or sometimes worse, the heart, instead of the soul. It can really throw a person off and separate them from the divinity only found in the present moment and in alignment with the soul. It feels to me like such a low frequency activity, and let’s face it - it’s a practice as old and tired as the New Age.  

As you move through the self-actualization process, those psychic abilities will likely begin to fade into the background as you journey within. Those psychic abilities will fade because all the possibilities become open when you are in your true creator nature. In my opinion, it is best to simply ride the waves and observe the future potentials in front of you, while consciously creating your own. This is what I mean by letting go of the concepts of fate and destiny from the hands of another creator (god or the universe). You are the sole/ soul creator!
 
Furthermore, with the awakening of life force energy within the body, my romantic relationships completely changed. Existing in my own sovereignty, I am not looking for someone to complete me but rather to share the embodied master experience with - someone also in communion with their inner divinity. I sometimes long to share with someone also in a sovereign state, in which there is no energy feeding on either end. Commitments like marriage also began to seem very old to me, although I respect those who have chosen marriage in this chapter of their soul journey, as it can be a magical human experience.
 
Additionally, normal human sexual interaction over time became completely unappealing. After my awakening and coming into alignment with my soul, my body began to crave a different physical experience - one that moves mountains and creates universes. Those not in tune with their soul usually do not have access to the type of vulnerability it requires to have a physically soul-baring interaction. This can create quite a bit of confusion at first and quite a bit of frustration later on. There will certainly be more on this in future writings as I could fill pages...
 
Another symptom of my awakening experience is that I became physically ill, and no doctor, healer or thousands of dollars spent on supplements could help. Check with your soul first, but I would advise not to waste your time or energy on any of these things. I will add the disclaimer that it is always good to consult with a doctor and undergo preventative screening. However, discernment, as with any situation, should be used when accepting their advice or prescriptions.

For the first year after the awakening, I could not even smell an animal product without feeling very ill. Every single food I ate, no matter how fresh, vegan or organic, made me sicker. My weight would go up and down dramatically not based on food or exercise. Now that I have learned to communicate with my soul and my body, it has become a manageable process. I enjoy many healthy days, although sometimes the sickness comes back in small, short waves. For me, communicating with the soul and body directly is the only way to quell the symptoms. This is also a service I offer in my private practice, guiding people through this internal communication process for self healing.
 
Post awakening, I also required much more sleep and an increased amount of alone time. If you can allow the 10- to 16-hour sleep, or whatever feels natural, it is a huge help for this process. There will be periods of great energy followed by extreme lethargy. Allowing whatever feels natural - if at all possible - will help relieve any symptoms that come with the awakening/ self-actualization/ ascension/ enlightenment process. Again, taking the time and space to be alone and in communion with self is a highly important.
 
In this life, I have been an extremely empathic person with memories as early as two years old feeling others thoughts and emotions. After the kundalini awakening, it increased even more. With greater frequency and depth, I could hear people’s thoughts, feel all their feelings, experience a natural disaster clear across the planet in my body and feel the collective consciousness surrounding worldly and astronomical events. It was debilitating and downright awful at times.

​When I began to go within and communicate with the soul, I could still see, feel and hear all of these things, yet I could remove the attachment, choosing not to participate in it. Rather, I allow it to flow through me rather than resisting it. I’m more than relieved to say my empathy has turned into compassion for the human souls and world events around me. The thoughts and feelings of others and situations feel like background noise or radio static. Instead of empathy, I simply honor people at the soul level and hold compassion for the situation they have chosen to experience in this life. I see and feel worldly events from an expanded perspective and context. It is not always a cake walk, but it is a vast improvement from the first year of my awakening.
 
The most important lesson I learned from moving through my awakening experience into expanded consciousness was to end the external search and take up the internal relationship with the soul. Self-actualization/ enlightenment/ ascension/ whatever you want to call it is at its core an internal process. It does not rely on god or the universe to occur. Neither a so-called god nor the universe care what choices you make or what’s going on in your human life. See the post on sovereignty for more information. Instead, spirit is patiently waiting for you to remember your divinity is held within.
 
This self-actualization process is a conscious realization and complete understanding of the divinity that exists within your soul. You are the god you’ve been searching for all along. The universe lives inside your soul. If you want to talk to god or the universe, instead, go within. First, consider talking to your soul – the wise master that lives within you. Simple directions found here. Second, every time you want to say the word god or the universe, try replacing it with the word soul – your soul.
 
For example:
Thank you universe (SOUL) for creating this magnificent situation.
God (SOUL), please bring abundance into my life.
The universe (YOUR SOUL) is conspiring in your favor.
God (SOUL), why is this happening to me?
 
Please let me know how the exercises are going for you, either in the comments section below or in an email. Please note this post could not possibly contain all of the information I would like to distill. However, human souls are so very busy these days. If departing on the soul evolution train is calling to you from a deep space within, please consider trying the above practices. If you need assistance, please do not hesitate to reach out, friends.