Sar’h delivered this message and many more to me one year ago. While these have gone into Book Two of the Becoming Sar’h book series, yet to be published, I have been hesitant to share Sar’h’s stories of the incarnation in which she received her name.
You see Sar’h has never wavered in her story, insisting she was incarnated as a daughter of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene. Until this point, I have attempted to share Sar’h’s stories without revealing that fact because, well, it sounds insane and downright pompous. For a whole year after she told me this, I argued with her on every single fact, and I have found her story to be as real and true as the life I am living now. I have seen, felt, sensed, and experienced every single minute of it since I became aware of it in 2014.
In January 2017, I made the decision to never hide any parts of myself again. It began with the courageous, or seemingly insane idea, to share what I went through during my awakening process in Becoming Sar’h: Book One. Yet, I have realized my coming out of the closet also means allowing Sar’h to share her story in full, without letting my human panic of being found out get in the way. As soon as I opened to that, Master El Morya (also known as Mortimer the Turtle in Book One) said he would like to share his stories of embodied enlightenment. Thus, the next series of articles will be a platform for them to share.
Additionally, for background important for Sar’h’s message, she says she was born after the crucifixion in underground Alexandria, Egypt, which is why she calls herself Sar’h of Alexandria. As many of you may know, after Yeshua was hung on the cross, Mary Magdalene and other Yeshua followers were forced to flee Alexandria, Egypt by boat to head to safety in Southern France. As Sar’h tells the story, the sails of the boat were shredded in order to stop them from making it to France. There’s way more to the story, but they do make it to shore, landing in Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer, France. The full story will be in Book Two. I only add it here because it is referenced in Sar’h’s message.
Thanks for taking a chance on us. I am so grateful to live in a world where I can speak freely. I’ve held more than two thousand lives on this planet, and this is truly the first one where it has been physically safe to do so. Thank you. - Lauren
EMBRACING THE DARK, DROPPING YOUR LAST SWORD
Here I am, Sar’h of Alexandria. Here you are in this life as this aspect, knowing that there is something so much deeper this life has to offer – more than any other life. Knowing somewhere inside of you that you are the master that traveled through all those lifetimes, all those experiences to remember who you are once more, to remember who you are the soul level.
Here we are again in human form at the time and place we agreed to meet approximately 2,000 years ago. Those of you who are here today with us, on Earth in human form, were the ones listening to the call, truly living the promise we made to carry on the message – to experience and embody it – the kingdom is within.
You know me as Sar’h. You know me as the daughter of Yeshua and a woman you call Mary Magdalene. Some of you were on that boat with me - the one that traveled across the Mediterranean with no sail, with no wind. Yet, if you recall, through the flow of pure consciousness, we arrived at Saintes-Marie-de-la-Mer, pinching at our skin as we climbed out of the boat to make sure that yes, in fact, we were still alive. The world around us seemed completely mad. It seemed completely insane, and more than anything it was an angry, punishing world.
Everyone who is here, reading this, embodied in human form, you have all done as you have promised. You have shown the world that the kingdom is within. The ones who had ears heard. The ones who had eyes saw. You showed them not always with words, not always with lessons, but through your actions and your experiences here on Earth. You showed them what it was to have the experience of the teacher and the student, the parent and the child, through your resistance and participation in all that human life has to offer. You were the Roman. You were the disciple. You were the warrior and the wounded.
You hold onto these experiences deep within the cells of your being. You hold on to them as if you can do something wrong. You hold onto the teachings and the promise you made millinia ago to continue to share the word. You hold onto these concepts of right and wrong. But like my father said, “There is no sin. It is you who makes sin exist.”
Even those who are shaking their heads in disagreement, you too hold so tightly onto concepts of right, wrong, duty, and contracts. It is something so buried deep inside you, you have become numb to its existence. You do not feel it anymore. And we all know well enough the only thing that can control us is the unseen – that of which we are not aware.
Let me tell you this right now before we begin. You have fulfilled your duties. You have fulfilled your contracts. You are here again in physical form – this last life that is all for you – for your own experience of crossing the threshold into your own enlightenment. Your own self-actualization. Some of you have already done this, and yet you have returned to do it again. To share the experience in this new era in which we are no longer hunted down like animals and slaughtered for our beliefs.
Let us all take a big sigh of relief right now. No one here is in danger of crucifixion, of being burned at the stake, of having our children ripped from our hands. We are safe. You are safe. I am safe.
My mere existence is not a threat so much anymore that my life must remain a secret. People are too busy in their technocratic lives to look up from their smart phones to persecute us. They are too distracted grabbing at false power. That is their experience, not ours.
Something my mother taught me so clearly – and much out of necessity at the time – was that you have to embrace the dark to see the light. That is why you often see her (Mary Magdalene) depicted with skull sitting on top of a book. That is the knowledge you must embody to make this transition your soul calls for each moment of each day.
You know what I’m talking about - that gentle, yet ever present gnawing in your gut that says there is more. This physical world is not it. Once you begin to feel it – for some of you it began many lifetimes ago – you went to search externally for God, then the universe. You combed through spirit and spiritual practices as if your life depended on it. Yet, just as in religion, the answer was not there in the spirituality either. And you knew enough then – just as you do now – that the answers are inside. They are in the darkness. They cannot be found in the light, the concepts of goodness, and what’s right. Instead, they lie hidden in the edges of death, yet death is nothing but the illusion created by the vastly unfamiliar.
For some of you, that is all that’s in your present awareness: the answers are inside, the kingdom is within. “But where,” you ask. The answer is in death. Of letting go of all that surrounds you. Your family. Your possessions. Your aspects or identities here on Earth. You human desires for success and the oh-so-popular idea of security. The answers are in the letting go and distilling the experiences in the depths of your soul, the part of you that can never be taken away, the only place where true stability and security exists.
My mother knew this because everything was taken away from her in the physical world. Her home. Her family. Her friends. Her family’s fortunes. Her human identity as she hid in the caves of southern France after the crucifixion, fearing for the life of her children, her family, her friends.
And in the death of who she thought she was - in her darkest hours - she found the truth of her existence in her soul. She reconciled with the impermanence of human life, the impermanence of everything around her. She let go of the concepts of good and bad and right and wrong. And what she was left with – the I EXIST, the I AM, the soul.
The good news is that right here, right now, most of us have not had to watch our families taken away or slaughtered. We do not have to give up our children or fear being strung from a cross because we stepped out of line. We do not have to give up our wealth or comfortable way of living. We do not have to bare children to carry on our name. Right here, right now, we can simply energetically sever the tie to these concepts without actually having to give them up.
Soul alignment – self-actualization – enlightenment – does not occur in the light. My mother is depicted in many statues and paintings holding the skull over the book to tell us we have to step off the edge into the dark – to remind us the growth, the transformation only occurs in the darkest depths of who we are. Notice she is not carrying around a book with hearts, unicorns, and rainbows on it. It is a skull. In every church depicting her – it is skull.
Right here, right now, we are going to remember that we can move as easily through the dark as we can through the light. We can dance in the fabric of consciousness, which contains all, without fear, without limitations. We can use the fabric of consciousness to work for us. We can shape the energy that makes up the fabric into whatever we want.
All that is born, all that is created, all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other. All that is composed shall be decomposed; everything returns to its roots; matter returns to the origins of matter. —Gospel of Mary Magdalene
For those of you familiar with the Order of the Magdalenes, you know it is simply a term for the brothers and sisters who have known the way, who have known the impermanence of everything on Earth, and understood the kingdom lives within – the soul. The term Magdalene has been bent and twisted to mean all sorts of things about the people it describes. Right here, right now we are taking it back to its true meaning. We are going to go back to the core of whom we truly are, and I, Sar’h, would like to invite you on an energetic journey inward. Will you join me?
Thank you all so much for having the courage to be here, to read these words from your inner kingdom rather than from your head. I know some of you are terrified of what will happen next if you truly let down your human guard, if you pull down the fence you have built around your soul in the name of self-preservation. Sure, you say you have torn down the fence, but it's not true. You have left a little bit up, created a dam, just in case.
“What it will feel like to let go, really let go,” you wonder. I tell you that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is experiencing the fear and moving beyond it through action. Each and every one of you has the brave hearts of both the lamb and the lion. Simply showing up here on Earth in human form is a courageous act, in and of itself, after all the pain and suffering we have all experienced here on Earth. I honor you for your courage. I applaud your bravery.
Before we get started, I want to thank each and every one of you for what you have done for my family, keeping the integrity of my mother, the one you call Mary Magdalene, and my father, Yeshua, alive. I want you to see, feel, and know my deep and sincere gratitude, overwhelming appreciation for the lifetimes of suffering and secrecy you endured.
Now you are released from the duty. It is no longer your job or my job to carry forth those secrets at any cost. Here I am with delivering the message in broad daylight, broadcast on the Internet no less. There is no Roman standing outside my door to nail me to a post for speaking of the unseen, for telling men they are sovereign beings, obligated to no government or God.
It’s now your time to let go of that duty, that obligation. The message survived. That mission is complete. It is time to simply allow the natural process of enlightenment to occur.
Whew! Now that we have lifted that burden, let’s talk about another one you have been carrying around. Who here has tried to save something in your life? Save the whales? Mother Earth? Supported a political party? Raise your hands.
Lauren here who shares this beautiful body with me spent years as an activist. She worked for an organization that’s motto was fighting cancer. Fighting, yes I said fighting. She carried no literal sword or shield but she was a crusader.
A crusader is a person who campaigns vigorously for political, social, or religious change; a campaigner of any sort. Instead of armor, Lauren got dressed everyday in her power suit, stalking lawmakers to convince them or threaten them into funding cancer research and prevention programs. And she was good at it. Very, very good at it. In fact, in her time in the Texas capitol, she and her cancer posse managed to bully lawmakers into more than $1 billion dollars in cancer investments.
Lauren was so proud of this accomplishment. So proud it became part of her identity. That is until she laid watching her father in a coma. It is then by her dad’s bedside she remembered that medicine, the pharmaceuticals, were not what could save her dad. She realized sickness, health, death, and life were decision of the soul. One would not get better unless it was the will of the soul and the soul alone.
All of that effort she had placed raising that money that generally went into the hand of the cancer pharmaceutical companies had been nothing more than experience to show her the illusion.
Lauren would walk back into that job each day up until three months after her father died – at his own soul’s accord, I may add – until her soul screamed, no more. This was not the way. She laid down her sword. She laid down her shied. And for the first time in her adult life, she listened to her soul who whispered unwavering, “There is nothing to fight anymore. Fight only brings more fight. A fighting mentality only makes the cancer stronger.“
And you know and I know that cancer is nothing more than a human experience that teaches us, reminds us how to really live – should we give it the opportunity. So what I, Sar’h, am asking you to do is to lay down your sword like Lauren did. There is nothing left to save.
Do me a favor, please. Everyone close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths. Feel into where your soul resides in the body. If it is not inside the body, command it back in. It is safe. You are safe. Continue to breath deeply. Connecting your soul experience with your human experience.
Now see, feel, and know when you played the role of the saver. Not just in this life, but in all lives. Let the movie to play out in your mind’s eye. No thinking. No editing. Allow all the lifetimes in which you were a crusader to flow before you. Continue to breathe.
For those of you who are saying right now, I cannot see anything. I ask you to expand your definition of sight. Move beyond the physical definition into that of the sensual one.
Sense every single life – this one included – in which you picked up your literal or figurative sword to fight something. Allow yourself to feel deeply into the concepts of right and wrong that you held onto so deeply – those concepts of good and bad and light and dark that still exist in your DNA. Allow it all in. There’s nothing to fear. There is no judgment of these lives. Only radical observation mode.
Now as the lives, these crusades appear before you in the absence of linear time and space, see, feel, and know the role you were playing.
See, feel, and know the role you played in your campaign against evil. It could be very old. A long passed life, but it's still out there fighting evil. Allow it to play out. Allow your human to scream out about what is fair and not fair.
Now hit the pause button on one of your experiences. Maybe it was from this life. Maybe it was from another. Hit the pause button mid-battle. Maybe you were campaigning for peace. Maybe you were saving a child, an animal. Or back fighting the Romans, again. Maybe it is an aspect of you, a demon from within. Whatever it is hit pause mid-fight.
Take a deep breathe. Now in this situation, in this fight, allow your physical presence to become larger. Allow your body to expand. To grow taller. Grow so tall that your head reaches the sky.
Breathe. Observe how you feel different as you look down at yourself in this fight. See, feel, and know how you were playing a role. See, feel, and know how this was simply an experience. An experience that has served you well in the past, yet no longer serves you anymore. Become aware of the parts of you that were still out there fighting, outside of your awareness. Re-write the story your way. Continue to breathe.
See, feel, and know deeply that this need to fight, the fight itself was only an experience. An experience you took internal when you stopped the external battles. Now go inside the body. See, feel, and know where the fight continues inside of you. Notice without judgment where that fight lives inside of you. Breathe.
Now you are going to be given an image – a gift from the soul – allow the image to arise from the soul that will show you how to transmute the density of the fight inside of you.
Whatever this image is – it may be a color, it may show you to release something, to integrate something, and it may show you how to heal something, to fill in a hole or create one. Whatever it is – no thinking, no editing – allow this to take place. Allow the vision from the soul, the soul action, to take place.
See, feel, and know how this action is occurring right now. Not later. Not tonight while you’re lying in bed. Right now. Allow the transformation, the transmutation, the healing to occur until you know internally that it is complete. See, feel, and know that you have no more fight left, that you are complete in this now moment.
Continue to breathe as this occurs. Allow your human to sit as the witness as your soul completes this.
Wow! So many swords are being dropped I can hear the dings as they hit the ground. What a group of crusaders we have been. Drop your last sword. Peel off that heavy armor. Feel the weightlessness of the body. Feel the lightness of the heart. Feel the ineffable love the soul has for you the human. The gratitude it feels for you the human who went through all those experiences so you could get to this point right here, right now.
Allow any final actions to occur as you continue to breathe. Feel your head, heart, and soul aligned right now. See, feel, and know how natural it feels to be in this alignment.
Now I’m going to invite you to join me, Sar’h, in a promise. The decision is yours to make if you wish. Right here, right now, if you choose, let’s all vow to never pick up that sword again - it is a choice, a sovereign commitment to yourself to never put on that armor again. There is no battle to fight. The war is won. The victory is in knowing who we are, who we truly are at the soul level. That we exist. In connecting with the soul – that which never dies, and contains the knowledge of everything.
Your soul has taken all the wisdom gained from every fight with so-called evil, every fight with so-called dark energies you have experienced and distilled it into pure crystalline knowledge. All that energy directed at fight has returned to its source, turned back into its natural state, and is there for you to claim at anytime.
The masters that you are have turned this fight energy – this energy you categorized as light and dark energy – back into crystalline energy, in which the concepts of light and dark never existed.
This crystalline energy is now there for your use, at your will, at anytime to create the life you desire. It is available to you at any time and replinishes in abundance, at your will.
You see clearly now – that when you are in the duality of fight, in the concepts of light and dark, you were hindering your creations.
In transmuting the density of fight energy into crystalline energy, we have freed up our creative potentials and possibilities. In dropping our swords, we have picked up our wands, instead, to command the crystalline energies in creation of our realities - in all realms.
In the next message, I will show you how to work with the crystalline energies to create. We will mold and shape it like clay. But for now, let us sit in completion of our last battle.
Go ahead and brush your shoulders off. Stand on the victory mound. Stand tall. There are no victorious slouchers. Declare victory in knowing your last battle has been fought. That there were no winners or losers except in realizing that fight is an illusion. The idea that evil existed was an illusion. And in meeting death in your enlightenment, you will find, that too, is an illusion.
Take a deep breath. Slowly start to come back into the physical body. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Slowly open your eyes. Feel your body in complete alignment with the soul.
All that is born, all that is created, all the elements of nature are interwoven and united with each other. All that is composed shall be decomposed; everything returns to its roots; matter returns to the origins of matter. —Gospel of Mary Magdalene
Sar’h asks you to please leave her notes, questions, and feedback in the comment sections below. Thank you.
For me, the magic of human life resides in experiencing my soul’s expressions and also in experiencing the expressions of the Earth’s soul – also known as nature. As I set off on this most recent journey, it was a chance to witness the magic within me through the external interaction with nature. Yet, traveling across the highly populated State of California, I couldn’t help but run across some fellow humans on the journey.
If I haven’t said it before, I’m a huge fan of humans and all their parts, light and dark and the grey in between. Nature too contains all parts. A sunny day can quickly turn into a violent storm – the more wild you get, the crazier the storm can be. Though humans and nature are the same in containing all aspects, there’s usually a difference in their general approach to the dark. Humans tend to want to shut out the dark, resisting negative thoughts and unpleasant emotions. Yet, nature is unwaveringly unapologetic for its most destructive tendencies. Nature knows destruction is part of a cycle, part of the whole, part of the experience.
It’s only a mild example, but I was able to witness these aspects of nature and humans while traversing the 10-mile loop in the stunning Andrew Molera State Park. As I trudged along admiring the unparalleled beauty of the rugged Big Sur coast, I noticed several people turning back on the trail. Poison oak, they said. Tick danger, they said. Just like pushing away negative thoughts and emotions out of fear, these people were giving up a rare opportunity to witness the Big Sur beauty and the super private beach cove on the other side. Needless to say, Ollie and I trudged on through. The law of fear was not ours.
Unlike nature, humans - whether conscious or unconscious - consistently apologize for their dark parts through denial of negative thoughts and resistance to unpleasant emotions. I witnessed this firsthand as I sat around a fire with four beautiful souls my last night camping in the redwood forest. I observed their inner darkness raise up no matter how much Jameson they drank from the bottle. It became clear that none of them were aware of their own magnificence, including the beauty of their inner destructive nature they were so intent to drown. With each sip of whiskey, I watched as they further stuffed down the poisons and venoms of their so-called darkest parts, making them blind to the beauty of their inner human darkness. They could not see their own magic.
MAGIC is defined as the power of influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces. But one needs to look no further than his or her own soul to create his or her own, unique magic in life. Magic is neither dark nor light. Like the soul, it knows no duality, no right or wrong, only what exists. For me, peacocks are living, breathing representation of magic. These beautiful creatures, which have inspired overwhelming fascination, actually exist within our physical reality for all to see – unlike unicorns who are reserved for those of us with vivid imaginations – to remind us that magic exists all around us.
For those of you who don’t know, peacocks dine on poisonous plants and venomous snakes. Many researchers believe they convert the poisonous fuel into the vibrant colors that appear in their legendary plumage. If you are open to it, the peacock can serve as a reminder that magic is all around you. You have not lost it; you only need to expand your awareness to include it. Like the swaggering peacock, we, as humans, can remember that the negative and destructive are in fact parts of who we are. We can remember that when we deny the dark, we are denying a large portion of ourselves. And in this resistance, those destructive parts can seep from the space under the door of the closet in which we shoved them only to have the door burst wide open in an explosive way.
Instead of avoiding our so-called negative thoughts and emotions, we can dine on them like the kings and queens we are. Like the peacock, we can take the poison and the venom, transmute it like the masters we are, and allow it to create radiance in our proverbial plumage like the azure and golden ringed ocellus that appear on the peacock above. Yes, you say, that sounds wonderful. Let’s integrate those negative thoughts and feelings we have been resisting for so long. But how? How to I do it?
Imagination is the ability to form and recognize new images and sensations from the soul, which are not perceived through senses such as sight, sound, taste, smell or touch. Like intuition, or gnost (inner knowing), imagination is a gift from the soul. It is an amazing way our soul can communicate with us, the human. But it’s not real, you say? Anyone who has had a vivid imagery-filled dream would beg to differ. Was that reality not as real as the one you’re living in right now? Why not bring the splendor of your dream state into your waking life?
Imagination is a sensual process rather than a logical or emotional one. Thoughts and emotions come from the human aspect of self, and imagination comes from the deepest part of self that exists in the absence of time and space and physical reality – the soul. Imagination is an excellent and innate tool for conscious creators. When we become aware of our own capabilities at the soul level, the deep sensual process of creating through imagination becomes an easy and delightful way to live life.
We can bring our dream/fantasy - state creations into this reality without the limits of human thoughts and emotions. Sure, the thoughts and emotions are still there, yet when we are in soul alignment, we can recognize them and witness their limits from an objective perspective. We do not deny them, yet we allow them to flow with a deep understanding of their true nature.
I recently was reminded of my own ability to transmute the poison like the majestic peacock and the magic of my imagination when I took quite a spill, splitting my head open and waking up in a pool of blood. I wish I had an exotic story of how it happened; yet I simply tripped in a hotel bathroom in the middle of the night. When I finally pulled myself off the ground, turned on the light, looked in the mirror and wiped enough blood away, I could see that my left eyebrow had been ripped open and was about two inches below where it should be. Yikes. Here’s where I get to use intensely what I show private clients each week.
First, I allowed my human to be human. With compassion, I witnessed my human panic, worry about her beauty, deny that the event even happened – the full range of human thoughts and emotions – for about 30 seconds before the soul was put back in charge. Soul said, ok, look up where the hospital is. One-half mile. Great. Put the dog in the car. Drive there. Hold that towel on your eye with pressure. Walk in. Stay calm. We got this. The human popped in again. We are not safe. This is a sign to go home, it screamed. Soul said, this is an experience for growth and we are going on that trip. Take a deep breath.
The human took a deep breath and remembered to trust the soul. Soul, the human said, I do not want to feel pain, can you please shut off the pain receptors there on my head? Check. Done in an instant. My soul was fully back in the the lead in the five minutes it took me to drive to the hospital. I had an excellent team of people helping me. I got to know all their names and about their families. There was still no pain as the trauma surgeon on call arrived. Dr. Vaughn sewed my left eyebrow back on as he shared his life story and we tried to come up with a better story than tripping in a hotel bathroom. I was glad to meet him and hear about his life. When the last stich was done, he declared, Now you have super powers! Mister, you have no idea, I thought. (Pictures below)
I said my goodbyes to the team in the St. George, Utah hospital. And two hours after my arrival, I was back in the hotel bed. Before drifting off to sleep I asked my soul, how could we make this heal faster with minimal scarring? My soul showed me an image of golden and sliver streaming light - almost in the form of a DNA strand - weaving the affected area back together. I sensed a very pleasant vibration in the area that maybe lasted one minute. Soul, I need the pain sensors in this area to stay turned off until it’s healed, and with an inner knowing that the message was received, I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up the next morning, feeling normal and vibrantly alive despite the four hours of sleep and still without pain. The magic capabilities of the soul, especially to self-heal, are endless if we open to them. Yes, the doctor and nurses help, but involving the soul in our healing process is the magic that brings it all together.
I was off to camp and experience fully Big Sur, and the wound never bothered me. Tuesday I had the stiches taken out - only four days later - and I knew my soul had heard my request. Only a faint scratch remains (photo below). It’s hard to believe from a human perspective because the muscle holding the brow up had been severed. I already feel it reconnected internally and am able to lift the brow again.
One friend commented, "What the eff? You heal like you're made of lava - regenerative as fuck."
Talk about magic! The human body when in communication with the soul has endless potentials and possibilities. I hope a tiniest bit of the scar will remain to remind me of the magic that occurs when we are in soul alignment. If anything, the venom of the sting of my head trauma has only made my proverbial peacock feathers grow brighter and bolder as I am reminded of the amazing ability of the soul to create and to use imagination to turn a so-called negative human experience into a beaming bouquet of soul radiance.
Integrating the poisons and venoms of our human aspects is not reserved for physical ailments. When you connect and align with soul, the poisons of destructive thoughts patterns and venoms of emotional turmoil can also be integrated. Isn't it time to stop being the bitch to your monkey mind and roller coaster emotions?
I invite all of you to go ahead and swallow the venom of your so-called negative emotions and the poison of your self-doubting, fearful thoughts just like the peacock. I invite you to allow the imagination of the soul to flow freely. Allow images to arise from soul that show you how to integrate that which no longer serves you. No thinking. No editing. There is no duality of right and wrong when using imagination.
But I can't hear my soul, you say. I don't see any images, you say. MAKE IT UP! That's what imagination is all about. If your soul could speak, what would it tell you? If you could see an image of the perceived dark parts integrating, what would it look like? If you don’t like it, create something else.
Paint it. Sing it. Write it. Dance it. Play it. Create like you did as a child. Use those imaginative expressions to create your reality. Allow your soul to shine. There’s magic inside all of us. There's magic surrounding all of us. We only need to take the blinders off to sense that which already exists. As conscious creators, we are in charge of our reality. Therein lies the magic. Happy creating, friends!