Hello, friends! Welcome to week three of the Return to Self series. It's beyond amazing that you have taken this time for yourself in this busy, busy world. I am still working on writing an extensive piece on discerning between human thoughts and emotions and your soul's wisdom/ voice. Yet, today I am going to share a chapter of my 30-Days of Self Love book, which will come out around January 2018. The bonus of jet lag was that I was up to walk during the magnificent Colorado sunrise (see picture above). You probably don't need a reminder, but if so, you and your life situation are imperfectly perfect in every way. Here's why...

Everything Is Perfect, AND...
Week Three: Return to Self Series

Most of you know I love to read; it is one of my top ten joys of being in the physical body experience. One of my favorite writers is Anaïs Nin, who lived from 1903 to 1977. She was born to Cuban parents in France, lived in Cuba and Spain, but mostly in America. She was known more than anything for her copious journals, which she had been keeping since childhood. One of her most famous quotes is, “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

I doubt Anaïs ever fathomed that her journals would still be printed today capturing the imagination of thousands of readers. It’s the piece of her that lives on in this world. To her, writing was simply a way to deal with the world around her – it was her drug of choice. She talks about her obsession with her diary in ‘Volume One: 1931-1934’ of her journals:

“This diary is my kief, hashish, and opium pipe. This is my drug and my vice. Instead of writing a novel, I lie back with this book and a pen, and dream, and indulge in refractions and defractions…I must relive my life in the dream. The dream is my only life. I see in the echoes and reverberations, the transfigurations which alone keep wonder pure. Otherwise all magic is lost. Otherwise life shows its deformities and the homeliness becomes rust…All matter must be fused this way through the lens of my vice or the rust of living would slow down my rhythm to a sob.”[1]

For any of you creating in any medium, you likely can relate to Anaïs’ view that her medium - writing - serves as her preferred lens of perception of the world around her.

Isn’t the world around us so much easier to take in when we are creating through our own lens? For me, books are a way for me to step from behind my own lens and view it through another for a while - an experience I welcome.

I think the first time I ever felt the power of another person’s art so profoundly was in reading John Steinbeck’s East of Eden, which I have read no less than ten times. Through the magic of an incredible family story, Steinbeck makes a point that forever changed my perception of the world.

The book is an inquiry into the term, timshel. Timshel is the Hebrew word, traditionally been defined as ‘thou shalt’ like in the Ten Commandments. He uses the twists and turns in the story to show that Timshel’s true meaning is ‘thou mayest.’ Thou mayest choose between good and evil, and it doesn’t matter. Perhaps there is no such thing as good and evil? - something I write extensively about.

In my Catholic upbringing, I always felt icky about the concepts of good and evil. It seemed dogmatic and limiting. Steinbeck’s Pulitzer Prize-winning words gave me permission as a teenager to explore other alternatives beyond dualistic thinking.

I could go on for hours about how writers have shaped consciousness, but that’s another book. It’s starting to get ridiculous over here in my word hoarding habits. Words are now crammed in cabinets where dishes used to reside. The closet can’t be opened anymore for the words stuffed inside will come tumbling out, making an incredible mess. Time to get back on track.

Here’s my story for today:

It wasn’t so long ago that I had my first ‘real’ writing job at the age of twenty-two. I had just graduated from college and my parents were adamant about no longer supporting me financially. A family friend found me a job at a daily newspaper in South Carolina where I made $11.13 per hour.

Every great writer from Hemingway to Steinbeck and on worked as a journalist to pay the bills and build their craft. I had built the life of a newspaper reporter into some sort of fantasy, and it was a rude awakening when I stepped foot into my first ‘real’ job.

I lived in a housing project because that’s what I could afford, and I ate a lot of Ramen noodles. My apartment was about 250-square-feet. I had a Murphy bed, the kind that pulls out from the wall. To go to sleep each night I had to push the couch up against my door and pull the creaky, rusty bed from the wall. I had only a mini-refrigerator and a two-burner stove in what could hardly pass as a kitchen.

I was living in a small town in the Southern United States, which was like going back in time and consciousness a few decades. Every morning I woke up and wondered how and why I created this crummy situation for myself - little money, low vibration surroundings, work that would drain me to the bone and leave me drooling and calling for my mom at the end of the week. Why was I working my butt off writing ten stories a week for a newspaper that could barely pay me? What was the purpose of it all?

Fourteen years later, I can finally answer that question.

It was so I could learn to write in a way people could understand and relate to. While I’m no longer covering crime stories and yawn-worthy city council meetings, the skills I learned to be able to write volumes on seemingly nothing are what are serving me now writing about the self-realization experience, or humanizing divinity journalism as I’m calling it.

Because there appeared to be very little to write about in sleepy small towns, I learned to read the energy between the lines. I learned to take a whisper of gossip and turn it into a feature story. I connected the dots between my intuition, ability to see and sense energetic patterns, and skill in writing a story readers could comprehend.

It was indeed the perfect situation for me, one that would serve me immeasurably throughout my life, in every job and beyond human jobs. Yet, you could not have convinced me of it when I was scraping together four quarters to get my laundry done in the nastiest laundromat you have ever seen, washing my sweat shop-made suits in the rusted machines.

About a month ago I started waking up each morning, mouthing the words, “Everything is perfect. Everything is perfect.” It was undoubtedly the voice of my soul, whom I call Sar'h.

It wasn’t an affirmation. It didn’t even feel voluntary. It was the words to go with the sensation that every single little piece of life was serving me in the best possible way NOW and back then. Even if I did spend Fridays night eating Ramen noodles alone in a filthy laundromat, it was absolutely an entirely perfect situation.

Today I invite you to look at how seemingly shitty situations actually served you perfectly, and perhaps apply it to your life now. Breathe and expand your own lens of perception to a bird's eye view.

Often we, as imperfectly perfect humans, become so hyper-focused on our immediate situation, we forget so easily the old yet wise saying, this too shall pass - something that applies to all experiences, seemingly good, bad, and ugly.

Yet, we can always find the lotus flower blooming in the muck from which it grows.

The soul - your soul - is amazing at this. Simply ask..."Hey soul, can you show me how this seemingly crap-tastic situation is serving me in total perfection right now?"

I'm willing to bet you'll be amazed at the answer, which will come forth in relaxed patience. 
 
If you choose, ask yourself the following, and allow the soul wisdom to pour forth. You can write, speak, paint, or sing the answers in your own unique way.  Also, you can use the method I shared in Week One for accessing the soul voice, or do your own thing...

• What have been the hardest, messiest situations in my life?
• In reflection, can I look back on those situations and perceive and sense how they served me now?
• What is serving you in total perfection right now?
• What is the artist lens you are choosing to view life from now?
• Is it one you created? Or another's lens (i.e. should, supposed to, comparing yourself to others, etc...)?
• How is my way of perceiving the world around me related my ability to self-love?
• Through which lens do I perceive myself? Through my soul? From the viewpoint of others? Does the lens shift and change throughout the day? When and how does it change (is it related to a behavior)?
• Explore the edges of your consciousness with the curiosity of a child, if you choose.

Thanks everyone for BEING here. I hope you enjoy some time with yourself on this perfect Sunday. Requests always taken and patience appreciated. Big hugs from Colorful Colorado!

[1] Nin, Anaïs .The Diary of Anaïs Nin: Volume One: 1931-1934. New York: Mariner Books, 1969.

Dear friends,
 
Those of us who have chosen the self-realization path in life are no strangers to change, transformation, and transfiguration. For me, the only thing constant in my life has been allowing myself to go with the flow of my own soul’s wisdom – at any human cost.
 
For the human, this amount of change can be quite tumultuous – that is until we are connected with the unconditional love of SELF and complete trust in SOUL. And, what a grand space that is to exist in!
 
In the past month or so, the flow of my own soul’s wisdom has been leading me in a different direction. The soul sessions and video/ in-person workshop type of material I have been offering since 2015 is no longer part of this flowing river within me.
 
I have deeply enjoyed meeting people through my work and reminding them of something they already know – the kingdom is within – all answers you seek, all creative solutions for the perceived problems in life can only be found within you – by accessing your unique soul’s wisdom - rather than externally.
 
Everything I have to offer the world – reminding people of their own soul’s wisdom – can be found in my writing, something I will continue as long as I can hold a pen in my hand – no longer to teach anyone anything, but because I enjoy it more than anything else in life. If it inspires people that’s wonderful, but it’s not the goal. In fact, there is no goal.
 
Over the past few months, it seems the intensity of the spiritual and consciousness-related material out there has exponentially increased. We have gone from three stations on our consciousness radio to millions, when really the only station you need to tune into is yours and yours alone.
 
Furthermore, while I will always continue to write about the amazing friendship between Ascended Master El Morya and myself, I will no longer be translating his messages for individual clients.
 
Master M, as I call him, is always available to anyone choosing the embodied enlightenment experience. Those who are in the embodied enlightenment experience can dial him direct anytime. They don’t need me to be the middleman.
 
Personally, I sense the days of channelers, gurus, and any other external teaching coming to an end. It feels this is the last hurrah for such methods of accessing wisdom from outside our selves.
 
Paul Simon once sang, “I don’t wanna end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard,” and for me, that’s what the channeling world has started to feel like – a big circus, where nothing can be taken seriously and discernment is paramount.
 
I will say that I do not regret my time in this space – at all. I met amazing friends that I will continue to cherish. I also received so much wisdom from my experiences in this space. I am thankful for the people who hold and honor contracts to bring the wisdom of Ascended Masters forth for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear it.
 
Yet, Master M and I do not have a contract with each other, only a friendship. As he told me from the beginning of our friendship, this life is about my own self-realization, held in the highest regard above all else.
 
Anything and everything else is and was a distraction. Distractions serve a purpose for a time, helping us get out of our own way. And then there comes a time, when distractions no longer serve us. For me, that time is now.
 
This didn’t happen overnight. In the last six months, letting go of my attachment to consciousness-related groups and my human notion that I am a teacher with something new to offer – there is nothing new! - has been painful at times.
 
Yet, once, I allowed the flow of the soul’s wisdom to flow without the human resistance, I have felt a peace never experienced before as I have shifted from operating in human free will to embracing the divine will of the soul, or God-self within.
 
With that, I thank all of you for riding along with me for a time. I honor everyone for the experience they find themselves in right now, knowing there is no right, wrong, good or bad, and most importantly no rush in the self-realization experience.
 
My commitment to myself to document as much of my embodied enlightenment experience remains. I will continue to write books – I have two written yet to be published – and share articles on the New Energy Creator blog and Facebook group page for free.
 
Currently, I am simply enjoying the MAGIC of BEING  - not doing - and using my words as a paint brush to express the grandness of what I am experiencing within. For those interesting in continuing to connect, I will meet you in the space beyond the noise.
 
In appreciation and honor of you and your unique soul story,
 
Lauren and the New Energy Creator crew

The Return to Self: Week Two
 
For anyone who holds the courage to make the return to SELF, I am in deep honor of you. Some writers in this genre choose to focus only on love and light. I choose to be open about the so-called darkness as well. It’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies, and that’s okay.
 
Further, Master Morya maintains light is not in opposition to the dark but rather a cellular shift from density to expansion, from physical to ethereal. He says, it's only in the attachment to a dualistic view of right and wrong, good and bad that the word got so tangled up.
 
So light actually includes all our experiences, even those difficult and painful to our human selves in the journey back to SELF.
 
On that note, I wanted to open a discussion on the human side effects of connecting to your soul’s wisdom. Please share your own in the comments or on our Facebook group page, if you choose. I also have a few SELF-taught exercises for those of you who enjoy them.
 
If you missed Week One, you can find it by clicking HERE.
 
THE SIDE EFFECTS OF CONNECTING TO YOUR SOUL’S WISDOM
 
First of all, most people find the more they connect with their soul voice the more things in their life that do not resonate with the soul fall apart. Relationships, jobs, friends, the location in which they live, family and anything that keeps them from living a soul-led life might change drastically. Often times, this feels like a great trauma to the human.
 
If you read my book, you already know, that when I could no longer ignore the deep flowing river of my soul leading me to a different shore in life, I had to leave my job, my then husband, and then my hometown to be true to who I AM.
 
It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but the deep knowing my life existed elsewhere was something I could not shake, something I could not deny anymore. It took two years to listen and act, plus days of deep breathing and long walks in nature. Today, because I listened, I am thriving. But easy it was not.
 
If you like to journal and/or using the soul communication method you created or used from the last post, I invite you to answer the following questions:

• When has my soul voice indicated in any form (intuition, knowing, dreams, music, art, words….) that it was time to make a change in my life? Describe the experience and allow the soul wisdom distilled from the experience to come forth.
• Consider if it resonates, to examine your current life situations and environment. Where are you acting from should and supposed to in life? Where in life are you deeply following your soul’s wisdom?
• Allow the contrast in the answers’ energy and sensations from within you to serve as your guide.
• If you choose, breathe in the connection and compassion of the soul for the human, knowing there is no right or wrong, knowing there are no mistakes, only experiences.
• More tips are included in last week’s POST, if you have not read it yet.

 
That leads me to the next side effect: If you would like your life to stay the same, the inner journey will not be pleasant for you. One does not dive deep into the return to SELF if they can avoid it with minimal discomfort.
 
For others, like many of you, it hardly seems like a choice. The discomfort of staying the same, of not allowing soul evolution into their life, is so intensely strong, there really is no other way but to leap into the vastness that lies before them.
 
I have been both.
 
I hold many vivid past life memories of putting off the experience of self-realization. I distracted myself with relationships, burned myself out trying to save the world (I’m too busy fixing the world to dive deep within), trying to be the best at something (In one life that was music, not for the expression but for the ambition).
 
The list goes on, and one does not need to know about all their other lives to understand what I am saying. Again, those lives were not wrong or bad, but simply experiences.
 
However, in this life I knew without a doubt, this was it! This was the life I designated to the self-realization experience.
 
During the next week, I invite you to take some time to ponder within. How deep do you want to take your spiritual journey in this life, knowing there is no right or wrong answer?
 
Sing with your soul. Walk with your soul. Have an open discussion on what role the inner journey will play in this human life. Connect in your own unique way.
 
No firm answers have to be formed. Setting the intention to opening to the communication between human life and soul wisdom is enough. Sitting with it is enough. If you choose, allow the soul to communicate in whatever way is appropriate for you.
 
Next week, I will dive deeply into discernment between soul wisdom and human thoughts, emotions, and distractions. Please feel free to share your experiences below or on the Facebook group page.
 
Thank you so much for everyone who visited the website last week, to everyone who shared personally with me, and asked questions. I will get to them over the coming weeks.
 
In honor of you!